I do not do well with gray skies. What can I tell you, it’s just a thing. And sooner or later, I guess, I was destined to reach some breaking point. Because no matter how nicely it may rhyme, you cannot, in fact, wish the gray away. And so today. Gray skies today. I considered …
In the annals of furry FUs, this: Big Orange. Biggie. Bigs. Aka our beloved bastard Biggles, not allowed on our kitchen-island counter. Says me, anyway. Biggles himself refuses to acknowledge this, despite our long-standing ritual of him climbing up, sometimes in blatant view of disbelieving humans, to investigate whatever — untended wet cat food being …
Tributes have been piling up for Anthony Bourdain since news of his death last Friday morning in a luxury hotel in Strasbourg, France. As tributes will when death intersects celebrity, particularly when suicide is the culprit. Tributes in this case are requisite, however. This was Anthony Bourdain, for chrissakes. Anthony Fucking Bordain! Former chef and …
How to tell if it’s a Monday: Did you just clean fresh turtle pee from one of your car’s floor mats in the parking lot before work, pinning your tie up high onto your shirt to keep from re-living reptile urine all day long? If you answered yes, then it’s safe to say it’s a …
Even as a raging heathen, I do love me some Christmas. My favorite holiday, hands down (and that’s even taking into account the Hadaka Matsuri guys-in-sumo-loincloths-competing-for-trinkets festival every February in Japan). I dig Christmas not just for the purty lights, that phenomenal Pogues/Kirsty McColl song and the excuse to put liquor in sweetened egg froth and …
Finally saw that Keaton Jones bullying video that celebs and athletes are falling all over themselves about. And they’re right to. That thing is a heartbreak. His racist, opportunist mom aside, this kid reflects genuine agony, and you want so much to march into his school and beat up the young losers who are messing …
So I’m a pretty angry guy, if you haven’t noticed. I got some issues. This country. This callousness. These cruel things. When I was younger, I had such a chip on my shoulder that I made at least one tall friend who shall Rayle-main nameless think I was gonna drag him into a brawl with …
So the vapid, venal clown in the phallic ties who’s been blindly entrusted with the fate of our country has finally given the fundamentalist (and, based on other recent events, apparently, pedophiliac) faction of his base the hard-on its been aching for for years, in its until-now wetless dreams of the Second Coming. I’m not …
Sometimes, you just feel the need to say something profound, whether it’s because some weighty and/or touching occasion seems to demand it, or because you’ve just been so prattlingly infantile lately that you’re clearly overdue to let loose with a pearl or two of exalted thought. So you think hard on it, really press your …
To view this personal family obituary as a downloadable PDF, click here. FRANK RABEY Jan. 10, 1932-Sept. 26, 2017 GREENVILLE, N.C. — He was both jokester and Depression-era pragmatist. A cut-up, a card. A contrarian of the very first order. He was a lover, above all, of family, including his pets, and of travel, classical music, the …